Taking one step at a time...........Helping with Zumba??

Another challenging day searching for a job.  I find myself slipping into a deeper level of stress this week. May 19, 2011 is the next court date and I can't stop all the pictures of that horrific night flooding into my head.  I start to pray asking for them to stop! But, in a second I seem to realize that maybe I need to remember those awful moments so I can write another victim statement to address the court.

As I speak to my boyfriend on the phone he seems to keep me focused.  I started doing the "poor me" thing and he does not let me get away with that.  I lost my job a few weeks ago and my employer did not pay me.  They left me in a terrible financial situation.  I never thought that I would be in the situation...I mean, I have not paid any April bills yet and now we are in May.  It's a scary situation to be in...lots of prayer.  I find myself putting all my belongings on Craigslist just so I can have money for a hotel and gas money, of course my bills too, but I need to make it to San Jose in a few weeks for court.

I'm trying desperately to get things going after my injury.  Last Friday I went to my storage to see what  I could put on craigslist.  I was by myself, standing on a dresser, and I was pulling on a lawn chair that was stuck.  I started moving things so I could get a good look at all the stuff in the back of the storage unit..Well, smart me pulled on the stuck chair and it came loose!!! YEAH!!! Wooops, I took a step back to catch my balance and took a hard step on AIR!! Needless to say the unthinkable happened..I feel off the desk and hit some drawers that were stacked in the corner along with Chrysler rims.  Luckily the chair was caught by the dresser and sofa!! If it wasn't for sofa and dresser, the heavy metal lawn chair would have landed on top of me. I was on the ground for at least 5 to 10 minutes in extreme pain.  I thought I broke some ribs and I  couldn't breath.  No one came into the storage so I had no choice but to get up and handle my business.  So much for that I could barely walk out of the storage and get in my car.  Top top it all off I drive a stick shift!  Talk about a looooooong ride home!  My boyfriend talked me into going to Urgent Care to make sure I didn't break anything.  All I could think about is being broke and making another bill.  So here I go to the urgent care and after hours and hours NO broken bones only a broken pocket book.

When I get home the pain is just incredible...I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I am getting chills from the pain and I am alone.  I start stressing out because now I'm thinking how am I going to get money. How am I going to do this? GOD please hear my prayers.

Now, I tell myself one thing at a time. I'm focusing on getting better and what I'm going to say at court.  I am getting so frustrated with our judicial system and it's not their fault.  It really is all about the money or the lack of money.  Benny has not done right.  Since his arrest he was kicked out of his Domestic Violence program, screwed up his Alcohol class, received 2 DUI's and 2 Driving with a suspended license.  WHY does he deserve anymore chances.  I look at it this way...what if he killed a family coming home from the hospital with a new baby..would they care then..YES.  that is a horrible example but it could happen if he is not taken off the street! We shouldn't have to wait for him to hurt or kill someone and then take action.  He has shown that since his incarceration and probation he could careless about doing the right thing.  I will be there every time...GOD let this work out for me because I need to be at sentencing to read my letter.

I've asked GOD for so many things in the past few months.  Mainly to help me find employment and for patience's and guidance.  I have to stay positive and continue to put one foot in front of the other.

I have to say that I am disappointed with my current financial situation because I had something very important I felt drawn to.  I started working out and lifting weights..my work out is with Zumba and I LOVE IT!! It helps so much with stress and it's a lot of fun.  I've been going to Zumba for a couple of months now and I found that my attitude is much better.  After praying about guidance, my future, and how I can help victims of domestic violence.  I got a strong desire to become a Zumba instructor and help families release stress with exercise.  It's an hour or less with awesome music and dance.  Your mind just focuses on the music and HAVING FUN!!  The class is a couple hundred dollars for the certification and monthly dues.  I have never been one to even consider something like this but I am so into it.  I feel that all my plans continue to get pushed back and challenges are being put in front of me.  I am going to stay positive and just put one foot in front of the other.  I will get where I'm going and I will be helping people.  I guess it's not in Gods plan for me right now.  I'm not sure what is so I have to continue working on me and pray I don't end of homeless.  THIS IS NUTS!!

Well, I will continue to move forward and Zumba!!! I have to say that I'm so thankful for Beto Perez for creating Zumba!! Its changed my outlook on so many things.  Now, I just need to make things happen.  Here's to staying positive! Loving myself!! Making my dreams come true!!! God willing!!