Spoke with the Probation officer and District Attorney...had a BIG cry today too.

So, I call the District Attorney Rick G. to make sure he is still on the case.  The entire process is just so damn frustrating!  I can see why people stop following cases because they get fed up of the political bullshit!

My conversation with the DA went like this...he told me that he might be taken off the case because of budget cuts.  He said that it appears that the older Lawyers are getting pushed out and the younger cheaper lawyers are being put in...I asked how will I know if he's still on the case.  I don't want my case to be in the hands of a new person after all of this...he said, "call me a week before court." In my opinion that is not enough time for a new DA to prepare and I'm soooooo not happy about that.

I again listen to the DA tell me that how proud he is of me because I continue to stand up for myself. He told me that the judge takes the direction from the probation department.  I asked him why the probation department would only ask for 2 years of prison after all the screwing up he's done...he had no answer..

Here is what Benny has done since his arrest in April '09...He was kicked out of his required Domestic Violence Class, he was kicked out of his required alcohol class, DUI in December 2010 and driving with a suspended license, Feb 2011 another DUI and driving with a suspended license....he also has approximately 12 convictions prior to this.....all according to the DA.

The District Attorney is telling me that they are trying to make a deal and he is not willing to do that.  THANK GOD! I thanked him for being in my corner and fighting for me...I get that it's about the money and budget cuts, but I'm a REAL person and I will be fighting for my rights too.  I told the DA that I'm so disappointed hearing all of this because Benny needs forced help before he ends up killing someone or himself.  I cannot stand by and not do anything.  If they let him out and he happens to get drunk, kill a family or kill someone I know in an auto accident involving alcohol.....that is all bad.  I have to take a stand and make sure that people like him are off the street.

The DA starting telling me about several cases he has where the women tell him they will attend court and never show up.  He told me about all the women that come back and say that they ran into a wall or that they hit themselves.  They beg no to press charges and make up crazy stories about how they were hurt.  He said that it's so refreshing to have a victim come time after time and take a stand.  I feel that I need to prove to myself that I can do this.  My life changed after that horrific night in 2009.  I feel that each day has made me stronger and much wiser.  I still have my moments dealing with certain issues surrounding that night, but for the most part I'm so happy that I'm alive and my brain damage is much better today.  I have to work on my memory every day.

Now, I call the probation officer Paul A from Santa Clara County..I left him 3 messages and finally he calls me back.  I asked him why he only recommended 2 years of prison instead of 3..he said with budget cuts and so forth..he thinks that's why.  I told Paul that i am extremely disappointed with the 2 years because Judge Hastings said this was a 3 year case not a 2.  Paul said that no has no idea what is going on with court and he has no idea what was going on...but no one has asked him for a full report.  I told Paul that Judge Hastings asked for a full report, Paul says no one told him about it.  I told Paul that Judge Hastings asked for a full report, then next court which was 3 weeks ago another judge first name was Jacqueline continued the case to May 19th.  I got a little emotional with Paul and told him that this is not fair...he needs to spend some time in prison and I'm so disappointed with his decision.  Paul was very nice about everything and we ended the call. I felt like Paul a little cold and gave me a ...I don't give a shit attitude...that made me upset.
the phone rang again and it was Paul...he said Jacqueline I just want you to know that if I do make a full report I will not be recommending 2 years is will be much longer...I almost could not get the words out because I was crying...I thanked him..hung up and just cried.  Sometimes these emotions take over and I'm already stressed out because i might have to go to court by myself and that scares the HELL out of me.

So that was that...I need to get my head back together...so that's it for today. Love you all!