A day in Court April 29, 2009

Well, my ex boyfriend went to court yesterday for the arraignment. I called the DA's office today and found out that the plea was "guilty." I felt that I should have attended, but the DA insisted this was nothing to be concerned with..it is usually very quick.  I was informed that the sentencing is May 20 something in San Jose.. oh my head is just spinning from all of this.. Trying to work at a new job..learning something new..getting dizzy all the time. Be strong Jacqueline, be strong. The DA told me that I should attend the sentencing and If I did not have someone to accompany me I can call the victim witness program.  I was told that he plead guilty and a prosecutor will be calling me for some information. My ex had never put his hands on me ever! I'm feeling very mixed up, upset, sad, mad, frustrated, scared, sick to my stomach, nervous, embarrassed  and anxious. I wonder what is going to happen to him.  I wonder if he felt remorseful.  I wonder if he would come looking for me and hurt me when he got out.  I he could have seen what he did to me. You know, I think they should be made to see the extent of what they did..period. They should not have a choice on whether or not to see crime scene photos.  I know I sound brave saying that.. every time I hear his name I feel scared and want to throw up from nerves. It's just crazy. This Saturday I have to drive back to Milpitas to try and get the correct papers signed for the restraining order. My Internet at home doesn't work, I have no money to pay bills, no groceries for my kid's. What is going on???  This entire situation changed my life in seconds.  I was already struggling and now this.  I still can't believe I have to drive all the way back to Milpitas to have him served CORRECTLY.  My emergency protective order expired on 4/24/09 at 5:00 pm.  I've been rushing around and driving around to make sure the restraining order is valid! We are not protected right now. I called the police department and asked, "what happens if he posts bail and wants to come home??" I was told that because we share the home and I do not have a restraining order in place he would be allowed in our home. WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Oh, but if he hit me again, used a weapon on me, stabbed me...feel free to call the police department...OK, how do you sleep with that over your head?

So, I asked what if he did come back and do this? How do I prove it? He said, "I have to have witnesses." Well let me tell you this...your friend will pretty much stay away from you.  Your circle of friends gets smaller and smaller because they are all afraid of getting involved.  They are afraid of being with you in the event something happens.  This is scary stuff and you cannot blame people for stepping back.  I was scared for my friends too.  I never want anyone to experience this nightmare.

The last time I drove to Elmwood in Milpitas to have him served the Police officer took one look at me and said, "oh my gosh! Are you ok?" We had a brief conversation about the waiting room as it was time for family visits.  As I was looking around at all the people waiting to visit the inmates I noticed several small children going along.  I asked the police office if that was common? Do you see a lot of children coming to the jail to visit inmates?  He said, "Yes, you would be surprised what you see.  The children come week and after week and they understand they are coming to a jail!"  I was very surprised and tried to keep my sunglasses on so you could not see most of the bruising on my face.  I was introduced to this crazy world that I did not want to be a part of.

I was happy to hear that he pled guilty! Then I find out it actually pled No contest.  I also had no idea at this particular time that a deal had already been made.  I had no idea that the judge really was not familiar with my case.  I thought I could trust the information I was given because the DA was representing me.  If for a second I would have been told that they were already negotiating his sentence I would have attended no questions asked.  I did not receive much information from the DA..only that the probation report stated they continued to catch him contradicting his story.  The probation officer would catch him lying and would ask the question again.  OK, what does that tell you..he has issues!  I know at some point I will confront this problem and do something about it.  I'm already going nuts with miscommunication and BS that I'm going through.

Talking to the Police

During the time I was in the emergency room I was asking for my dad and my sister. I remember the San Jose Police officer saying no they can't come in right now because I don't want to hear their story of what happened, I need your story. I could not remember much and I was feeling really scared. He would not let me have my sister come in..How can he be asking things I don't remember? I did say I want to press charges but with my head and neck trauma would I have been able to tell them what happened? I really think the police should let you have a family member with you. I knew I was hurt and I thought my wrist was broken. I lied on the back board with a neck brace for over 1 hour and I was in this pain that made me want to jump out of my skin. The guys from the emergency room said OK lets go to get a CT scan and xrays however the police office said I didn't take pictures yet.. they said I could not come off the neck brace or board until I have the CT and xrays so they said they would come back. The police officer took a couple of pictures and said when you get home take more pictures and sent them in. My sister was finally allowed in and now I was on the board for around 2 plus hours. They told my sister that I missed my spot and they had to put me back on a rotation so it will be awhile. The pain was almost too much to handle.
Monday I took the day off to get a restraining order at the Rocklin Police Department just like the police officer told me to do in San Jose. Well, I have one wrist in a splint and I'm all bruised up. I walk into the new Rocklin Police Department and speak to this elderly lady at the window.
She tells me to sit down and she will find out how I should proceed. I am sitting in the waiting room and I start to cry because I'm in disbelief that I am sitting in a police department. The woman tells me that I am in the wrong place. She gives me an address in Auburn, CA and says you need to go here on B Street. I am now on my way to Auburn I find the place and it's a vacant building. A man outside says go to the end of the street their is a new justice building and they will help you. I do that and they tell me I am also in the wrong place I need to go to Roseville, CA to the court house. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I just spent over 4 hours doing this so far. I then go to the Court house in Roseville, try to fill out all the paper work and get another number. I must say the 2 ladies that helped me at the Court house in Roseville were fantastic. I told them I had never done this before and I was not sure what or how to do it. I wish I could remember their names. They tagged the pages for me and helped me with everything I needed. I actually felt pretty good when I left. A couple of days later I called and the restraining order was ready to be picked up so my daughter picked it up after school for me. I get off work late and I take light rail from Sacramento. OK, since Monday the day I took off work I had been calling so many different phone numbers trying to find out how to serve my ex boyfriend since he was sitting in jail. A lady at the San Jose police station after hearing my story said, when you get the order fax it to this number. I had my daughter go to our townhouse office and see if they would help us out. They did. My daughter received a phone call asking why we just faxed it. I told her that I was instructed to do that. Well they said they were throwing it because they are not able to serve it. This is no lie, I called 23 different phone numbers asking how to do get the order served to someone in jail again saying this is new to me. I have never experienced this and I have no idea how this works please help me. Every number I called lead me no where. I sat home each night and just cried because I felt like I am the victim I NEED THE HELP! I NEED ASSISTANCE! I decided to drive to Elmwood this past Saturday which is 2 plus hours to deliver the order to a police officer. The police officer was very nice and asked where was the Notice of Service.. I said everything the court gave me is in this folder. He said wait for a deputy and we will try to help you. Finally a deputy came and looked through every paper I had and luckily I have 4 copies of the restraining order because they took 3 of them. The deputy signed and dated the form and gave it back to me. Could it be that it was finally handled!!!!
Tuesday the 28th my daughter went to the Court house in Rocklin to turn the paper in.. IT WAS THE WRONG FORM! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. The order is not valid! are you kidding me!
I am now back at square one.

Witness Statements to Police

Our system has to change because what I'm currently going through is ridiculous! I'm going to try and get you caught up with where I'm at currently in this whole nightmare.
--witness interviews. I still can not believe this happened to me. I'm a professional business woman. I have children and every time I look in the mirror or down at my hands to see all the bruises I get so upset with him.
OK, The witnesses told the police officers that my then boyfriend continued to punch me in the face. I went unconscious and he continued to hit me with a closed fist. He had me in a head lock and hit me some more and I passed out as he continued to punch my face. When he finally let go I hit the ground and again he continued to punch my back, neck and head. He then grabbed my hair and tried to pull me down the hallway and ripped some of my hair out. That GOD I don't remember any of this. Anyway, when I came to I heard that I was screaming and I would not let anyone touch me. My sister said that my dad tried to comfort me but I just screamed..I feel really sad because I don't remember that and I love my dad. At one point I did remember my seeing my dad and I was still screaming asking my dad not to leave me alone. My 14 year old son cries and says, mom, you were screaming and freaking out. Your head was so swollen and huge. You had this HUGE knot on your forehead and eye. I stood in front of you as you were screaming, you were on the floor up against the wall and you didn't trust anyone, you were screaming if anyone came near you, and you recognized me, you put your hands on my shoulders, put your head in my chest and cried. I then fainted and the paramedics were their. I guess I fainted a few times and the witnesses said my eyes were rolling back in my head. I don't remember paramedics or police but it sounds like 5 cars were their. When the police officers where talking to my son at the point the paramedics were taking me away my son said, what is my mom going to do? she does not have insurance. My sister then said, the hospital changed, a phone call was made and I was now going to a different hospital..what was that about. Was I less of a human at that point?
I just started a new job and don't have insurance yet. Well, I have my days when I'm extremely angry or very sad or scared and feeling anxiety. I can't believe this happened to me. I tell everyone that asks that I was in a car accident because I don't want them to know. It seems easier to say that. I need to be strong and I don't want to keep repeating this. I'm embarrassed and humiliated and terrified all the same time. The next few days have been very stressful and I'll try to get you caught up to where I am today and continue the process as each event happens. I'm getting very discouraged with the Rocklin Police Department Elmwood Correctional Facility and the District Attorneys office..

Victim of Domestic Violence

This is my first time blogging but I need to get this out. We need changes to our justice system and a little compassion for people. I was a victim of Domestic Violence, Saturday, April 18, 2009.
This is my story and I will keep you updated as I go along. Saturday, April 18, 2009 was a great day. We woke up early because my 14 year old son was in my cousins Quinceneara in San Jose, CA. My son looked so handsome in his tuxedo so my boyfriend and I all took pictures before we left for a 2 hour and 20 minute drive to the Bay Area. We went to my cousins house and watched the photographer take pictures of all the kids, my boyfriend was taking video while I was taking pictures. 15 of the most Beautiful Low Rider cars drove up to take each couple to the church for the ceremony. We left to the church, then to the hotel to check into our room, say hello to my parents, sister, brother in law and cousins. It was such a great night! We were all have a great time. Right after dinner around 8:00 my boyfriend went to our room go get ready for a gig he was playing at in San Jose.. My niece needed to go to the room so we starting walking towards the hotel door when I realized that I didn't have my room key. I called my boyfriend and asked him to open the door. The phone call cut off, which I thought was really strange so I called back. I asked my boyfriend to open the door to the lobby so we could get in because I couldn't find my key. He met us outside the door, then walked in and didn't hold the door open for us which was very odd but again I didn't think anything about it...or not much about it. My niece, boyfriend and myself were standing right in front of our room. I asked my boyfriend to open the door because he was just standing there. He said, find your own @#$%ing key. I said come on..your going to leave soon and I'm picking you up whats the big deal. Just give me the key. He looked at me and said, Get your own @#%%ing key I said. Then the next thing I remember is my face hurt and I was stunned because he punched me in the face. I could not believe what was happening to me. was I dreaming that the love of my life was hitting me?
He continued to punch me in the face until I was unconscious (from what 2 ladies told the police)
he knocked me out and continued to beat me (and he is a black belt) while he had me in a head lock his punches continued. He let me go and I hit the floor during that time he continued to punch my head, neck and back. he then grabbed my hair while I was knocked out and drug me down the hallway. He turned me over and continued to punch my face and choke me. The next thing I remember was waking up in the emergency room with a police officer asking if I want to press charges. I was lucky to be alive according to the police officers at the scene. My next entry will be what the witnesses statements were and the hell I've gone through trying to serve a restraining order to my ex-boyfriend while he is in jail.