December 14, 2010 today I turn 44 years old

It's been weeks since I've updated my blog. It's not that I have not wanted to, but I've been so busy working and trying to research stories, news articles, and put money aside to start some type of organization to help people.  I guess I did not realize how much time it would take to get things rolling.  I feel so sad when I look at the big picture and think about all the people who were in my position and no one to help them.  I continue to pray for them and ask God to keep them safe until I can help out.

Today I turn 44 years old and after a long day of work I'm relaxing with a glass of Merlot!  Today has been a good day and a sad day all in one. People surprise me by how nasty they can be.  I don't ever want to become numb to people that are nasty because it is just not right.  I have to blog about this because I just wanted to cry as I was talking to my boyfriend on the way home from work (on a headset).  I just left work feeling good, talking to my baby on the phone..my normal routine!  Here is Sacramento and Loomis it's been rainy and cold for days now.  Today the rain just came pouring down and made puddles every where...as I approached the freeway I could see people moving over to the left (right as you enter the freeway) to avoid a huge flood in the road.  As I got closer I could see a man walking with some bags in his hands and I thought to myself..Oh, go around so you don't splash water on that poor man that has to walk in the cold rainy weather.. well, as I passed the puddle I could see the man right behind me drive through the flood and the water splashed on the man like a title wave. I could not believe my eyes...was I seeing what I thought I saw?? Could another human be so insensitive and ...and....OH MY GOSH I don't want to say the word! I passed the turn and I could no longer see.  I told my boyfriend what happened and I just wanted to hit my breaks!!! What makes people be so nasty?  Why would that man do something so cruel to another person?

I'll tell you what... if the driver had to walk in the cold rain I bet he would be very careful.  I'm feeling so sad for that poor man because it was cold outside.  I don't know- life is full of people who do things that are awful and terrible.  I wish I had a magic wand to wave at nasty people to make them nice again.  So anyway, that really bummed me out. I had to share that story because it was heavy on my heart.

So, it's my 44th Birthday and I am reflecting on all my lessons and blessings.  I am so lucky to be able to celebrate my 44th Birthday!  My Birthday wish is to help people one at a time! I have been doing little things but I need to do more.  At the grocery story I buy one bag of groceries each time to donate to families in need.  A few times when people in front of me were short paying for groceries I pay the extra. TRUST me, been there done that.  I'm not out of the financial woods by any means, but I do know how it feels to struggle and not have groceries. It's the little things we do for each other that can make a big difference.

I know that 2011 will be a great year for me and I also know that I will be moving to San Diego!  I really want to get out of this place I'm in.  I didn't think the memories would get to me, but they do sometimes...it's not like I feel.. Oh I miss him..it's more like.. I wish I could forget him and times we had around the town.

A fresh start is what I/we need and I cannot wait for it to happen.  All in good time...all in good time.  My son..my poor son..he had been through hell because of the whole BS we have experienced.  I had to send him to a place to help...don't want to get into this right now..but hopefully he will be home soon and we will be able to continue to work through the crazy stuff.  So, I'm signing off for now because I am feeling tired. Until next time!