Finally feeling like the Victor!!!!

It has been approximately 1 1/2 years since that horrible day.  Today I finally feel like I'm the victor.  This road has been very challenging to me because I was feeling embarrassed and humiliated by what happened to me.  I was feeling that way because people who knew us both would ask me...what did you say that pissed him off?  What did you do that made him so mad? I played it back in my head so many times and felt embarrassed about it and I never wanted to talk about it because all I would hear was his lies about what happened.  Was I surprised that he was lying?  Was I surprised that he was making himself the victim? Was I surprised that some of our "so called" friends would believe his lies? Am I surprised today that he is still drinking even though he is not suppose to? Am I surprised that he knows how to play the system so he can continue to drink and do the other stuff he usually does?  NO. After I came to the understanding that i had nothing to do with my beating the night of April, 18, 2009 and that he is the one with the problem and continues to have problems it is about me surviving that night.  It's about me helping other men and women that have been in a domestic violence situation.  I need to do something to raise money to help people get away immediately and be able to have a good night sleep the day after.  I went through hell and I was only trying to protect myself and my children.  The system let me down during the initial stages of my trial and I had to fight, fight, fight.  I did not know what a strong person I was until now. I feel like I have an obligation to other people to show them and help them get away so they will know that domestic violence is not acceptable!  I have not seen him..Benny..is his name since court.  I do know that the first few days were the scariest and for me it felt like the court system was only protecting him..and the system almost makes people go back to the situation because we have to fight for everything...safety for us and our children, piece of mind, filing a restraining order, and getting to the point that we are the victor.  I thank God for the people in my life today and everyone in my life today supports me and loves me for me.  I want to help others get here too.  I has been a long journey but I have arrived!! Let me help you too!